he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
