I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
