Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
