Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
