it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
