So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
