Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
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