I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
wow bdsm is so cute
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
