she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
