Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
