How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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