Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
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