He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Randomize
