Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
