there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
He kissed a someone with a penis
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
