I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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