STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Where did you get a picture of my penis
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
