Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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