Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
