Welp...herpes.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
