I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
