just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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