I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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