I would go down on you faster than GM stock
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
