My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
The Olympian is in my bed
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
