Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
This can only be settled by a dance off.
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