So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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