And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Boobs speak an international language.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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