when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize