physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
is that a dick in a sweater?
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
