I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
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