No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
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