There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
