oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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