You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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