i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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