I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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