she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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