i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
