Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
