I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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