i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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