thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Randomize
