Hey man sorry I got all grabby
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Randomize
