This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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