how do flat chested girls get laid?
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
