What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
My bed is full of blood and feathers
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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