YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize