well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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