I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Randomize
