I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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