Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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