Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
