She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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