now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I am mentally ready for anal.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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