They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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