We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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